for baby jordan

baby you were so drunk last night and it made me scared please call me before class and let me know you are ok, i dont want you to cry it breaks my heart, i just miss you so so badly, i want you to come home so bad!!! i love you so so so so terribly much

your mailbox is going to be full, constantly

i'll never say happy anniversary so, i think i need a new heart just for you

life goes on

its raining, ernesto! the power keeps going on and off. im sorry your sad today i wish i could have talked to you more, you feel so far from me, i want to know what your doing every second but i cant and it kills me. it broke my heart to hear that you were scared, you'll get used to it i promise. it would be weird if you had a friend already. and you love being alone, embrace it. you are going to be used to it before you know it and you are going to be having the time of your life, you wont even think about home. once you get a hang of things and the customs and school and everything you will be fine. you said youd call but its ok that you only called once, i keep calling your voicemail just to hear your voice, i miss you god you really feel so far and unattainable. i hope you got some sleep and some flip flops so you could wash your stinky body. god i miss everything about you how you smell and how you feel and how we're happy when we're together. i have to go to sleep please call me whenever you can, i love you so very much my little baby. my heart is just breaking for you right now but i know you and i know you'll be ok, you should know it too. !!!! look at where you are! your in london! how crazy! jordan you'll be so amazed by everything you see, its so so cool that you get to do this. i cant wait to come visit you. you put a spell on me.

im cheating because your here at my house going poopy. i still get butterflies you know everytime i see you, i am so in love with you that i dont know what to do with myself. we had such a good day yesterday. not seeing your for a week was awful but seeing you was so exciting and made me realize how hard it's going ot be trying to convince myself i'll be alright for a few months without you. everytime i look at you i smile and i am so thankful to have you. i am so in love i just cant even talk around you because i just have too much happiness. i'll put up the picturs from the beach for you to see and remember.

saying goodbye to you was so hard, i cant even believe i was able to do it. i was sobbing so hard on the way home that i stopped for a second to laugh at how sad i sounded. i got home and ate my taco bell and worried about you so so hard. i tried to wait up for you to call and tell me you landed but i knew a phone would be hard to figure out so at four i told myself you were fine and i fell asleep with my cell phone tight on my chest so as to wake me if you called. i love you sweetums

my flight was delayed but you were waiting for me. it felt like a movie my heart dropped when i saw you and i was just in awe just to see you and touch you. thank you for picking me up and for waiting for me and carrying my bags. i dont regret at alllll coming home it was so so worth it

im finally at the airport. there is a grandmother with a grandfather and three of their grandchildren and grammy gave the boy something and he starts to jump up and down screaming "sleeping pills sleeping pills yay!" and then she gives him two more to give to the other kids. the little girl takes it, and then it comes to the little brother and he is chewing gum. the big brother says "stop chewing that and chew this! it's a sleepiiing pill!" my lips are chapped and i brought makeup so i could look pretty for you and they took it :(. i have so much to tell you and i have so many hugs and kisses and lovings to give you. holy shit i cant wait to just make out with you and sleep with you and your bed and you!!!. i think my flight is delayed. i love you.

my ears hurt because i got these cool new ear ring things made out of coconuts but they are almost like plugs so i had to rip my ear holes a little. they look cute you'll like them i think. im going to bed now and i didn't really talk to you today which i should try to get used to but it's still hard to sleep without you holding me or saying i love you. god i miss you so bad. i just miss being with you and you touching me, its a different kind of miss. i know where you are and im not sad but i just crave you to be near me. today was gary's 25th birthday. we went to the saturday market and all they had was food and dumb crafts that i didn't want to by. some days this place doesn't feel like home at all. everyone is the same here and i feel so clean and not cool. everyone is filthy and poor and it's almost sad. i don't know, sometimes im unsure of it here and id like your opinion but youve never been so you really can't have one. im so tired, we're going to the beach tomorrow so i probably won't have internet but i'll try. i found a ride to the airport so we can rest assured that i will be there for you to hug and kiss on the 30th at 8 am. ok im going to show you what today looked like and then wash my face and fall asleep. i love you love you hurry hurry and be kissing me already.


this is a cool picture i forgot to show you yesterday

jenny put a fake turd under the covers and the maid put it on her pillow when she made the bed

we went to the market

natty and hayden spun around and whined a lot

expose yourself to art

gary has bun boobs

birthday bbq

birthday cake

the night

kana, gary's roommate, just got back from brazil and she got tons of these bracelets there and supposedly they really work, you tie them on your left wrist with three knots and when you tie the knots you make three seperate wishes and when the bracelet falls off your wishes come true. its pretty neat i stole one to tie on you so you could make wishes you better call me soon because my eyes are closing, i can't sleep good its so crazy what you do to me mister. cant wait to see you.

hey baby baby. im in a good mood since i just changed my flight so i could come home to see you before you go to jolly ole england. i really can't wait. as amazing as it is here i still wonder off by myself and think of you or i'll close my eyes on the trails and pretend your with me, or waiting for me just up the hill. we went to mount saint helens. we drove and went into this really cool cave. in the car ride on the way there gary did my hiar pretty


gary greg and i pretending to be models

and when we got out of the car gary pretended to be a baby deer who was just learning to use his legs, it was the funniest thing ever.

natty took my picture thats my new winter coat

jenny and hayd

jenny proving she could see her breath

walking ot the cave

just at the opening

natty in the cave

cave

no flashlight

the meatball. it supposedly changes your life

i tried to kiss it like the blarney stone


mt saint helens

again

feeding the munks

family vacation

both the digital cameras ran out of batteries so i took film pictures and you'll have to wait to see them. i cant wait to see you baby i love you so much!

im missing you so bad right now, i feel it in my stomach and my throat. all i want to do is talk to youu on the phone, like last time i was here. except as the days go by i love you more and more and it gets harder to go without seeing you. i really wish you were here, i know you'd love it. i bought the cutest winter coat today you may think it's not cute but i do ill take a picture of that tomorrow. i got you something at the same store i think you'll like it and if not, i do.

today we went to breakfast and to the zoo. breakfast was delish but the zoo was so dumb. there was a total of maybe 5 animals and they were all hiding or turned backwords. good for them you know, rebeling but it's like they are in retirement. their habitat is climate controlled, they dont have to hunt for food, they have no pretadors, but they also have no space to move and are lonely and sad. then we ate burritos and went shopping. natty and gary and i hung out in the room for a little, we colored with smelly markers and went in the giant hot tub.


hayden almost drowned but then jenny saved him

gary held me like a baby as i held natty like a baby?

and natty was being cute as always

the hotel is really neat i only have pictures of jennys room but tomorrow ill show you mine.

thats the back of the classroom, it's a chalkboard and all little hooks for the kids bookbags.

we found a mystery turd in jennys room

these are the lockers by the hot tub

water fountain

the phone to call the front office!


natty jumped on the bed until she got sleepy and jenny put her to bed. adam bought us a bottle of wine and then him gary greg and i went to the pub. i drank a picher of water and was upset thinking of not being able to see you before you go. i know theres a way and i can take a train to the airport since gary said i'd inconvience everyone by needing a ride. we went to the hot tub and i asked greg if he thought it was that crazy and he said not at all, it's not that much money and i honestly dont care how much it is i miss you like crazy and it's not even been two days i cant imagine a week or a month.

it's freezing cold in here and everyone else has been alseep for hours. im waiting for you to call but you may be sleeping so i dont want to bother you but i most likely will anyway. i love you so much jordan and i wish you were with me every second because everything is happy and everything is fun when im with you. goodnight love dumpling.


ps. i just did spell check and every word is wrong. dont hate me.

i'm sitting in the airport right now, next to adam, i just called you and you were sleeping which is good since you work so hard all day. you're going to have fun tonight with jason and im going to be wishing i was there with you. it will be so weird to sleep alone, we'll see how that goes. im eating sour worms and peanut chews and it's delicious but jenny and hayden and nataleigh just got back and i had to hide them because jenny got mad and doesnt want them to have candy. nataleigh drew me a picture.
now they are fighting or something deserving getting yelled at

i dont know why we got here so early

i feel like i miss you already but i know it will only get deeper and more intense from here. the weird thing is is that i'll want so badly to be with you and to do those things with you but i'll only get to hear about them on the phone when you get time to call, which is fine, i'll take all of you i can get but its going to be sad, for a long time until i can see you.

ive really gotten to love you so much, i told myself in the beginning that maybe i shouldnt love you but i couldn't help it. it will be ok, we'll be so ok. this morning was awful, it is so hard for me to let you go but i know i have to. you are going to see so many anazing things im so excited for you to be doing this, i wish i could do it with you, if only we had met a few weeks sooner then maybe i could have gone too but maybe these months alone will be good, we'll be stronger.im listening to your tape right now.


last night when we were driving id get so excited every red light we'd have to stop at, just 30 more seconds, just two more minutes on our last night. i really love you so much, i never thought i could feel like this towards anyone. you make me so happy, im so content and just happy to be living knowing that i have you. we board soon i guess and i should go to the bathroom and buy a magazine or two, if i die tonight know i love you so much and will always love you. i miss you every second baby. i cant wait to be in your warmest arms.